It's not quite the last train to Clarksville that The Monkees sang about, but it's still one of the world's great epic journeys. People gather, drunk, on the platforms at Oxford Circus, Tottenham Court Road and Holborn. They wait for ages, because there's a huge gap between trains at this time of night, trying hard in the meantime not to stagger off the platform onto the live rail. Then they crowd into the Cental Line carriages, in cattle-truck conditions reminiscent of the weekday rush hour. Some are still finishing off chips and kebabs, much to disgust of the nostrils of the majority. People try to grab a glimpse of the front of the early editions of the Sunday papers, disbelieving that John Major ever had a sex life, let alone with Edwina Currie. Around Bank the more inebriated passengers grab onto whatever or whoever they can, as the train careers violently from side to side round curves resembling a theme park thrill ride. A group of lads shout loudly across the carriage at each other in a foreign language - which might well have been English earlier in the evening. And at Mile End I escape across the platform to the waiting District Line train, happy to abandon the drunken revellers safe in the knowledge that I won't be ending up back in Essex with them by mistake.
Saturday, September 28, 2002
Welcome to the modern village
Guy Browning has written an article in the Guardian which sums up the whole nightmare and nothingness of village life.
"The modern village is defined as a small group of houses, none of which can get pizza delivered. Many urban dwellers have a secret dream of living in a beautiful collection of rose-covered cottages nestled around a wide village green and overlooked by the church spire and village pub. Many people who live in real villages also have this dream."
That's exactly how I felt about living in a village. That's exactly why I left one a year ago.
The Guardian article is magnificent. It's very accurate, it's very long, you can read it here and I wish I'd written it.
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Sniffle: On Monday morning I sat on the tube next to a 12-year old schoolboy who insisted on coughing and spluttering all over the surrounding carriage. When I went to work this morning, I was feeling fine, so I thought. Around mid-morning I started sneezing rather a lot. Around lunchtime my left nostril started to feel a little bit runny. By early afternoon I was getting my handkerchief out for the first time in months. Late afternoon and I was filling that handkerchief at regular intervals. On returning home I tried to track down the supply of clean handkerchieves I know have at the back of a drawer somewhere. Tomorrow I expect to wake up with a blocked nose, breathing like Darth Vader. No doubt I'll spend the weekend laid up in bed with a gallon of Beecham's. And, come Monday morning, I'm sure I'll be just well enough to go back to work, despite still feeling sub-standard. However, it'll be worth it just to cough all over that bloody 12-year old on the tube journey in again.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Tube strike: It only takes two hours to get back from Leeds to London by train - I was well impressed. However, it then takes roughly as long to get from Kings Cross home to East London, thanks to the tube strike they kindly put on to celebrate my return. I've stood in bus queues for buses that either didn't arrive or were full and didn't stop. I've stood like a sardine in a variety of jam-packed stations and train carriages. I've walked overground across London carrying incredibly heavy luggage. I've travelled miles out of my way just to get on board a train that still exists. I suspect I've just lost all the weight I put on while having those two stodgy hotel breakfasts. But it is so good to be home.
Sunday, September 22, 2002
22 September - the Countryside comes to London
It's exactly a year today since I packed up all my belongings and moved from a small village in Suffolk to the East End of London. To celebrate this anniversary, the Countryside Alliance kindly arranged for quarter of a million country folk to come up to London just to remind me exactly what I'm missing. Nothing.
The streets of London were filled with red-faced protesters, converging on Whitehall via Hyde Park and the Embankment, demanding Liberty and Livelihood. Most were wearing that dull shade of green that only people who live in the country ever dare to wear in public, usually a Barbour jacket or something disturbingly tweedy. They wore flat caps, sensible brogues and sideburns - it was as if last week's London Fashion Week had never happened. They dutifully waved their placards, some lovingly laminated from a poster in the Daily Mail, others insulting the Prime Minister, but most just admitting that they enjoyed murdering animals for fun.
Some marchers looked so rich, in an in-bred landed-gentry sort-of-a-way, that it was obvious they were only there for the Liberty of shooting a few foxes rather than the Livelihood of a few genuine farmers. Many had dragged their children along and given them a whistle to blow and a political statement to make. I thought there were far too many marchers from Essex, which in my opinion is barely the countryside at all. However, I suspect many of the more bemused-looking country folk had never been to London before in their lives. I fully expected to see some of them in Pret attempting to barter a prize sheep in exchange for a sandwich.
The march went on, and on, and on, in much the same way that the countryside does. At the Cenotaph the protestors marched past in silence, which might have been powerfully impressive were it not for the racket being created by the helicopter hovering overhead. Then after Big Ben everyone dispersed, either to the clubs of Pall Mall, which appeared to be doing brisk business, or back to the Landrovers and home to rural Hampstead.
I know that the moaning marchers have all missed the most obvious way to improve their lives - sell up and move to a town. I found my Liberty and Livelihood by escaping the countryside and moving to London, and I have no intention of ever going back. More buses pass my front door in an hour now than used to serve my old village in a week. If I want a pint of milk today I can buy some in a shop one minute's walk away rather than have to get in the car and drive for miles. If I want a life I have one on my doorstep, rather than just the possibility of village hall bingo every third Thursday. So, I'll happily leave the countryside in the capable hands of the Barbour brigade. The rest of us will carry on living.
Saturday, September 21, 2002
40 things I love about... London
Life, nightlife, the sense of history, the Underground, the view from Greenwich Park, the fact there's always somewhere new to discover, Oxford Street, the sound of Big Ben, nightbuses, sunlight on the Thames, buying your Sunday paper on Saturday evening, the museums in South Kensington, the wobbly Millennium bridge, being able to choose from more than two local radio stations, Tate Modern, not needing a car, the view from Hampstead Heath, Arsenal shirts, Trafalgar Square, the top pod on the London Eye, St Pancras station, decent mobile phone reception, Routemasters, the East End, 24 hour bagel shops, culture on your doorstep, Hungerford Bridge, Old Compton Street, deckchairs in Green Park, the DLR, 0° longitude, the City, Covent Garden, decent record shops, St Paul's Cathedral, walking faster than the traffic, crossing Westminster Bridge at night on the back of a bike, the sheer variety of Theatreland, the British Museum, just living here.
London Open House weekend: What a fantastic idea, to open up some of London's buildings to the public free for the weekend. I resisted the temptation to queue up for Broadcasting House, or the Victorian Sewage Works down the road, and instead headed up to Westminster. The queueing crowds were mostly either over 50 or gay, or both. And I got to see 5 places that I'd always wanted to see:
Westminster Hall: Now that the Queen Mother has moved on, there were hardly any queues. I stood on the spot where her artificial hip had lain in state, just out of respect you understand.
Portcullis House: The new office block for MPs, famous for its fig trees imported at a cost of £150,000. If you're a UK taxpayer, you'll be glad to know none of them look as if they need replacing yet.
Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Magnificent and opulent courtyards and staircases. I suspect we bled the Empire dry to pay for it all.
Cabinet Office: Had to queue for one and a half hours, but well worth it just to see the door that Sir Humphrey couldn't get through when his key was confiscated in Yes Prime Minister. It has a card swipe now, by the way.
Midland Hotel, St Pancras: Glorious old hotel, now fallen into serious disrepair. I suspect it never recovered after the Spice Girls recorded the video for Wannabe there. Zig-a-zig-ah.
Friday, September 20, 2002
3 things I hate about... pedestrians who get in my way
1) Mobile phone users: They are the new living dead. They walk the streets like zombies. They are totally absorbed in the text message they're typing into their mobile phone. They always walk right in front of me without looking. Not enough of them walk straight out into the road in front of cars.
2) Tourists: Us people who live in London are usually trying to get somewhere. Tourists, on the other hand, are happy to stay exactly where they are. Being ignorant of the ways of the capital, tourists will happily stop dead in the middle of a narrow pavement, just outside a station entrance or directly in front of a minor photo opportunity. Two tourists, if positioned carefully, can completely block a London pavement in seconds, causing pedestrian gridlock. Large groups of French schoolchildren, if left unattended, can suddenly seal off half of Central London. Mayor Ken would do well to consider the huge economic savings to be made by deploying tourists on strategic pedestrian crossings around the capital as a cheaper alternative to congestion charge technology.
3) People with bags: On Fridays, people take to the escalators of London with suitcases. They're obviously planning on rushing off somewhere after work for the weekend, maybe to Amsterdam, maybe to the second home in Wales, or maybe they just like carrying suitcases, I don't know. But these people are out there on Friday mornings stopping me from climbing the escalator and getting my daily exercise. Then of course there are all those people with rucksacks who are prone to turn round and smash their fat bag into you, ignorant of the carnage happening right behind them. And please don't even get me started on pushchairs.
Thursday, September 19, 2002
3 things I hate about... Travelcards
1) Buying them: My annual London Travelcard expires in three hours time. I went to my local tube station last week to try to renew it. "Oh no", they said, "you can't do that yet. Come back nearer the time." I returned at 10pm on Sunday evening when, after much protest, the staff finally agreed they were perhaps willing take £912 off me if I really insisted. It was clear that the man behind the counter had never used a computer before, as he attempted to work out what all the buttons were for and where on earth the letter 'E' was. Next year maybe I should buy my ticket at 8:00 on a Monday morning instead, just to see how long I can get the queue of irate passengers behind me.
2) Other people buying them: Don't you hate in when you're stuck waiting in the queue at the ticket office on a Monday morning, with some urgent travelling to do, and some idiot in front of you has decided to buy their annual travelcard by debit card, and the monkey behind the counter can't get the computer to work?
3) Other people selling them: It's become one of the most modern but most undesirable forms of begging in London. Shuffling grubby reprobates gather round the exits to tube stations during the early evening, asking if they can relieve you of your used Travelcard. Not mine mate, it cost me £912. There again, maybe tonight I should have flogged it. I have three hours left to find a buyer...
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
3 things I hate about... being stuck in a tube carriage between Green Park and Piccadilly Circus for 20 minutes on the way home from work
1) Being late: I don't normally stay late at the office until 7pm. So, when I do stay late, the last thing I want is "a safety alert at Caledonian Road" to delay me even longer. One minute into my tube journey tonight we ground to a halt in the middle of a Piccadilly Line tunnel. It was very helpful of our tube driver to keep us updated by telling us that we weren't moving, although we had noticed this for ourselves. Then he told us the blockage ahead had been cleared and that we should be moving soon, except we didn't. He ought instead to have told us there was a really impatient American moaning at his wife on the third seat down on the left, because there was.
2) The Evening Standard: Normally it takes me most of the tube journey home to read the Evening Standard. It's not a great newspaper, bearing far too much of a resemblance to the Daily Mail for my liking. Tonight, however, I had time to read the paper twice. Second time around I was left having to read the article bashing Ken's congestion charge, the editorial supporting the green welly Countryside Alliance. the daily cosmetic surgery scare story and even the recipe for anchovy bruscheta. Please please let me not be so delayed going home tomorrow.
3) You don't care: I've told you the story of my dreadful journey home, and you don't care. Nobody ever cares about nightmare travel stories. That's unless one happens to you of course, in which case you feel as if you have to tell everyone at your destination every single intimate detail. I bet you've just skimmed through my tale of underground woe, but please remember, next time you're late I won't be at all interested either.
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Tuesdays - what is the point?
First thing every morning, at the top of the steps outside the tube station on my way to work, some grinning idiot tries to thrust a free magazine in my hand. Every Tuesday, that magazine is called 'Midweek'. Why? Do they not realise they're at least 28 hours early? The last thing I want to be told on a Tuesday morning is that it's halfway through the week, because it so disappointingly isn't. Still, it's better than the similar situation every Monday morning, when the same grinning idiot always tries to offer me a copy of 'Ms London' instead.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Bow Road station, London E3
My local Underground station is 100 years old today.
Bow Road is an Underground station, but only partly an underground station. That's because Bow Road is the station where eastbound District line trains finally emerge from their tunnel under East London and head off towards Barking and Upminster at surface level. Half of the station is underground and therefore has crap mobile phone reception. The other half of the station is open to the elements and therefore gets wet when it rains. Pigeons appear to be happy to crap on either half.
Bow Road is a station on both the District and Hammersmith & City lines. You might think this was obvious from looking on a tube map, but it appears that nobody has yet bothered to tell anyone who works at the station. Once upon a time Bow Road used to be a station on the Metropolitan line, until this part of the line was reassigned to the new Hammersmith & City line back in 1990. That was a decade ago, but nobody has yet managed to update any of the signs here. The big nameplate outside the front of the station still proudly displays that Bow Road is a station on the "District and Metropolitan lines". The train indicator on the platform still lights up to announce to passengers that the next train is a "Metropolitan line train via Kings Cross". Wrong. Anyone who wanders into the station expecting to catch a Metropolitan line train is in for a very long wait.
Bow Road is a station on the Hammersmith & City line. Everyone in London thinks they live near the tube line with the worst service in the capital. Everyone else is wrong. The Hammersmith & City line has the worst service in the capital. The trains are infrequent and irregular. On the rare occasions that you might actually want to catch one, you can find yourself waiting around through fifteen minutes of endless District line trains until a Hammersmith & City finally decides to turn up. The trains are shorter than District line trains so you then find yourself having to run down the platform in order to dive headlong into the last carriage before the doors shut. However, should you be waiting to catch a District line train, you can of course guarantee that a half-empty Hammersmith & City line train will rumble into the station instead, open its doors apologetically at the platform and then rumble off into oblivion, ready to stall itself at the signals just outside Aldgate East for ten minutes while everyone in the carriage sighs, shrugs and overheats. Line from hell. Never, ever, rely on it.
Bow Road is a station round the bend. Mind the gap. You have to step carefully on and off the trains to make sure you don't slip and fall through on top of the rats scurrying around on the tracks below. Mind the gap please. More annoying is the impossibility of reading the 'next train' indicator from the far end of the platform. Please mind the gap. Not only is the next destination obscured by the bend and by a huge pillar but, in a way reminiscent of far too many other tube stations, the view is now also completely blocked by the CCTV cameras they've installed - right in front of the 'next train' indicator. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform. Please mind the gap between the ears of the station planners, more like.
Bow Road is a station with thousands of passengers every day. I know this for a fact, because every day they all seem to stand in my way and block the entrance to the ticket gates. Some of them insist on queueing up to buy tickets from the temperamental ticket machines in the entrance hall, a queue which invariably spreads out to block the two foot gap through which everyone everyone else is trying to walk. Other passengers don't bother to buy a ticket at all and instead walk brazenly up to the special gate for those with oversized luggage, open it and saunter through to the buzzing sound of the electronic alarm. Meanwhile the ticket inspector sits disinterestedly in her little booth and continues to read her newspaper, ignoring the gate even when someone with oversize luggage really is trying to get through. Could this explain why London Underground don't collect enough money from fares to invest in our stations?
Bow Road is an interchange station with the Docklands Light Railway. At least that's how it looks on the tube map. In real life, however, Bow Church DLR station is at least a three minute walk up the road, and not particularly well signposted either. You wouldn't want to change trains here carrying a suitcase (although people do, and they generally get their cases stuck in the ticket gates right in front of me too). I seem to end up at least once a week directing lost travellers from one station to the other before they stumble off lost into the back streets of Bow and are never heard from again. Tempting to send them off in the wrong direction I know, but the pavements are crowded enough round here as it is.
Bow Road is 100 years old. And blimey it looks it. The whole place could do with a lick of paint, and not that ghastly combination of green and yellow they still have down on the pillars at platform level. The station could also do with one of those nice 'how many minutes is it until the next three trains' indicators like they have at the next couple of stations down the line. Not that they're very accurate, of course, but they're better than a piece of smashed glass which lights up merely to tell you there might be a train going somewhere arriving sometime. In fact I doubt that London Underground have spent a penny on this station for years. I hear we're nearly next on the list for renovation, but they've been saying that for years and nothing's happened yet. As a result I suspect the station will continue to be the endearing dump it is today for a number of years to come.
Happy anniversary.
Friday, January 09, 2004
Local transport news - Bow Road tube station
A while ago I ranted about my local tube station being an under-resourced ruin, with not a penny spent on it for years. Until today, that is. Tube operating company Metronet is launching a multi-million pound five year programme to renovate more than 150 Underground stations, all part of the government's controversial public-private funded infrastructure programme. And, what do you know, the very first station to be renovated will be Bow Road. About time too. They haven't told us local passengers yet - I only uncovered the news in Metronet's in-house journal (check pdf pages 6-7 and 28-30) - but renovation is now imminent. Apparently Bow Road station is a Grade II listed building, and we have serious problems with 'water ingress behind a brick retaining wall'. That would explain the acres of peeling paint I get to stare at each morning. Hopefully not for too much longer though.
I wonder if workmen will finally get round to updating the sign outside the station, the one that says Bow Road is on the "District and Metropolitan lines". Bow Road's not been on the Metropolitan line since 1990 when the Hammersmith & City line took over the section east of Liverpool Street. But, I read, there are plans to change that back again. Tube bosses want Metropolitan line trains to run from northwest London right through to Barking again, hopefully by 2011. Meanwhile the Hammersmith & City and Circle lines will be sort-of-merged to provide what's being called a 'T-Cup' service. Trains will run from Hammersmith to Edgware Road, then continue all the way round what's now the Circle line before terminating at Edgware Road second time around. You heard it here first. I heard it here first. And no, I don't believe it'll happen either.
Monday, February 09, 2004
Change at Bow Road...
They finally, finally, made a start on renovatingBow Road tube station today. Well, they dumped four blue portakabins outside on the pavement, even if nothing yet appears to have happened inside the station (see photo).
This is Day One of London Underground's PPP-funded station update programme, which just goes to show how dull history in the making is. Starting on the first of next month they'll be closing Bow Road station early each night and working passenger-free between 10pm and 6am. That's closing early daily until at least the end of September. Great. Every time I find myself staggering home after closing time this spring or summer I shall have to get off at Walford East instead. It had better be worth it.
I know you'll all be on tenterhooks to discover the latest news from Bow Road, the Underground's pioneer renovation station. What rebuilding work will the good people at Metronet be carrying out? How hard will the builders be working? Will the station's listed architectural features remain intact? How will travellers be inconvenienced? What does cutting-edge urban ergonomic design look like? Well, worry no longer, because I've decided to provide regular daily updates...
Monday 9th February (Day 1) Four blue portakabins have appeared on the pavement outside the station.
Tuesday 10th February A blue wall has appeared in front of the four portakabins. It is made of metal.
Wednesday 11th February There are now flashing orange lights on top of the blue metal wall.
Thursday 12th February The orange lights continue to flash.
Friday 13th February The sound of sawing can be heard from behind the blue wall during daylight hours.
Saturday 14th February No sawing today.
Sunday 15th February The flashing orange lights have disappeared.
Monday 16th February A group of blue-uniformed staff have been observed entering a mysterious lock-up on the eastbound platform, clutching a wad of plans.
Tuesday 17th February The orange lights on top of the blue wall have been replaced by more permanent-looking light fittings on the side of the blue wall.
Wednesday 18th February There are now bulbs in the light fittings, but they're not yet lit.
Thursday 19th February Still not lit.
Friday 20th February The blue wall remains graffiti-free.
Saturday 21st February On closer inspection, there is a padlocked door at the end of the blue wall furthest away from the station entrance. The door is surrounded by safety notices.
Sunday 22nd February A laminated licence is attached to the blue wall, giving permission to Elliot Thomas Ltd to "erect a hoarding on a public highway" until 25th February 2005.
Monday 23rd February The licence was approved and signed by Mr P Williams of WSP UK plc.
Tuesday 24th February Mr Williams' middle name begins with an S.
Wednesday 25th February The blue wall is starting to get a little dirty.
Thursday 26th February Most of the blue wall is still very clean.
Friday 27th February There are a number of discarded cigarette butts at the foot of the blue wall nearest to the station entrance.
Saturday 28th February Probably about twenty butts, approximately.
Sunday 29th February The overnight closure of Bow Road station is supposed to be starting tomorrow. Nothing. Not a sign.
Monday, March 01, 2004
How exciting to be a resident of London E3, now that the renovation of Bow Road station is underway. At least, I think it's underway, it's hard to tell. The station was due to be closing daily at 10pm, starting last week, so that major building work could take place overnight. Didn't happen. Nothing much has happened at all, to be honest. But, as a local public service, I'm continuing to report back every day. Can you stand the excitement?
Monday 1st March The blue portakabins behind the blue wall are now fully illuminated.
Tuesday 2nd March A new blue wall has appeared halfway down the westbound platform, floor to ceiling, dividing off a short portion of platform space.
Wednesday 3rd March The new blue wall is about seven metres long. It makes the platform half as wide.
Thursday 4th March As suddenly as it arrived, the blue wall on the platform has completely vanished.
Friday 5th March Behind where the blue wall used to be, the paint is still peeling off the platform wall just as badly as before.
Saturday 6th March Meanwhile, back outside the station, the lamps on the original blue wall are now illuminated.
Sunday 7th March A new sign on the blue wall apologises to the public for any inconvenience caused. To be honest, not enough inconvenience has been caused yet.
Monday 8th March A sign on the blue wall warns passers-by that they are being recorded on CCTV. No cameras are visible.
Tuesday 9th March The first graffiti has appeared on the blue wall. It's big, it's silver, and it displays all the artistic merit of a two-year-old.
Wednesday 10th March The public information plan finally kicks in as homebound commuters get to 'Meet The Managers'. Or more likely not meet them.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Meet our Managers
It's been a month now since I started reporting daily on London's first PPP-funded tube station renovation project. It's been a month of compelling drama as blue walls have suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and a month of high tension as those blue walls have occasionally disappeared again into thin air. Then, yesterday, something even more thrilling happened. Elsie got an email about it last week, but the first any of us locals knew came when details were posted on a board at the station on Tuesday afternoon.
Meet our Managers events give our customers the chance to raise their concerns and air their views about the work we are carrying out by asking our Managers questions. It also enables us to receive feedback about general Underground matters, from a cross-section of the public. The event will be held at Bow Road Station on Wednesday, 10 March 2004 between 1600 and 1900.
Needless to say I was very excited by this opportunity to discover more about my adopted pet station. Imagine my joy at meeting the people who would be shaping the future of this Grade II listed building. I could ask them all sorts of questions, not just about blue walls but also about what they were planning to do, to what, and when. Would we finally be getting a train display indicator that would tell us how far away the next three trains were, not just that the next train was 45 seconds away? I have an insatiable blog audience who need to be told, you see.
I arrived at Bow Road station last night around 6pm, crushed aboard a packed District Line train. I wove my way out of the carriage onto the platform and looked around. Paint continued to peel off the walls, the ceilings and all other available surfaces. Of 'the Managers' there was as yet no sign. I joined the home-bound tide of commuters and swept up the stairs, round the corner and into the narrow ticket hall. There beyond the barriers stood a massed gathering of smiling people holding leaflets, much as a group of evangelicals might stand poised with tracts ready to thrust into the hands of passing unbelievers. There was also a trestle table piled high with goodies, but no signs whatsoever that might have told travellers who these people were or what they were doing standing there.
I stopped for a closer look at the table and its contents. There were more leaflets, a pile of uncompleted questionnaires and a small number of stubby light blue pencils stamped with a London Underground logo. There were also some small flat round objects that might have been either pencil sharpeners or key fobs, of the sort that eight-year-old girls buy in museum shops on school trips. I only managed a quick look before one of the people standing nearby, I suspect not a manager, tempted me away from the table by offering me a leaflet. There was no follow-up, no attempt at feedback, not even a free pencil, not for anyone. Within seconds I was outside the station, in front of the legendary blue wall, wondering if there had in fact been any managers to meet at all. My views had not been aired. I was a very cross section of the public.
The leaflet announced that the modernisation of Bow Road station would finally begin next Monday. Workmen will have the station to themselves between 10pm and 6am every day until further notice, i.e early next year, and the rest of us can jolly well walk home from Mile End or get the bus. Oh, and we shouldn't touch our Oystercards on the reader when using the bus or it'll accidentally charge us extra, we should wave our cards at the driver instead. Such is progress. But we are due to be getting:
• upgraded platforms, ticket hall, station entrance, passageways and stairs (and trains? some trains that run on time would be nice) • all floor, wall and ceiling finishes are either being repaired or replaced (this wrinkly centenarian station needs one hell of a facelift) • as this station is a Grade 2 listed building, all the heritage features are being restored (I wonder if that includes all the chewing gum) • installation of customer help points (maybe that's what all the blue pencils were for) • improved CCTV (cor, wouldn't a webcam be exciting?) • installation of induction loops for the hard of hearing (Mind the gap. I said, MIND THE GAP!) • better lighting and new signage (ladies and gentlemen, this way to the replacement bus service)
It begins.
Thursday 11th March A poster has gone up on a board in the ticket hall with full details of the early closure of the station from next week. The board is currently facing towards the excess fare window, not towards the ticket barriers which might have made it easier to read.
Friday 12th March Another new blue wall has appeared, this time along the west end of the eastbound platform. The new blue wall is approximately 48 panels long.
Saturday 13th March All visitors are asked to report to the site office. I'm tempted, but I have yet to comply.
Sunday 14th March Another sign demands that safety helmets and safety footwear must be worn. Again, I have yet to comply.
<Bow Road station closed before 6am and after 10pm until further notice>
Monday 15th March (Day 1, proper) Bow Road station closes early tonight for the very first time. It begins. Maybe something will actually happen now.
Tuesday 16th March Net result of the first night of work: lots of safety signs and a fire alarm have been stuck to the blue wall on the eastbound platform. One of the signs reads 'Site Entrance Caution'.
Wednesday 17th March The blue wall on the eastbound platform has been extended. It now covers almost the entire length of the platform, right up to the steps.
Thursday 18th March Along the new section of the blue wall are stuck a number of small white stickers. On each, in blue felt pen, are written phrases such as 'Bow Road roundel', 'No smoking sign', 'Way Out' and 'Advert Frame'.
Friday 19th March The graffiti on the blue wall outside the station has been painted over. A hastily printed sign taped to the blue wall reads 'Wet Paint'.
Saturday 20th March Adverts have been now posted on the lower blue wall, stuck over the white stickers that read 'Advert Frame'. One of these new adverts is for the St Patrick's Day Parade that took place last weekend.
Sunday 21st March There are 37 signs in total on the blue wall, and still three stickers remaining over which signs have yet to be stuck.
Monday 22nd March The two "Hoarding licenses" at the right-hand end of the blue wall have been moved one panel to the left to allow 13 more stickers to be stuck to the wall.
The new stickers include 'Inconvenience Notice' and 'Advert Frame When Delivered'.
Tuesday 23rd March Sixteen green cylindrical loudspeakers have ben relocated from the platform wall onto the blue wall, at approximately four metre intervals, joined by a long white cable.
Wednesday 24th March There are still eight more loudspeakers to be set up on the blue wall. The silver boxes are installed ready, but the last one isn't yet connected to the white cable.
Thursday 25th March A new third blue wall has appeared at the western end of the westbound platform. This new blue wall is only 10 panels long, with a grey door. There are, as yet, no signs or stickers on the new blue wall.
Friday 26th March There are now six stickers on the new blue wall, and a 'hoarding licence' giving permission for the wall to be there.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Two weeks into the official renovation of my local Underground station, and time to keep you updated on latest progress. What a fortnight it's been. First a huge long blue wall appeared along almost the entire length of the eastbound platform, screening off the original paint-peeling walls from the travelling public and halving the width of the platform. And then a second blue wall appeared at the west end of the westbound platform, considerably shorter than its twin opposite, but standing tall proud and blue all the same. Today's photo shows an artist's impression of the location of those two blue walls, just to give you a visual flavour of what's going on.
Behind those two blue walls it's been impossible to tell if any real renovation work has been happening at all. I've seen no signs of action, no passing workmen, not even the hint of a discarded tool, no nothing. Maybe all the action has been happening after the 10pm station curfew, with a gang of painters and interior designers drafted in to give the ancient surfaces a silent makeover, but I'm not yet convinced. The planned renovation is due to take a whole year, so maybe actually doing some work comes up at a later stage, but it does seem to be a very slow start.
But the eastbound platform at Bow Road must now be the safest station platform in the UK. Previously the walls were plain white, with just the occasional roundel interrupting the emptiness. Now the blue wall is covered by a dazzling assortment of safety signs, directional signs, informational signs, no smoking signs, way out signs, adverts and yet more safety signs. Presumably this is part of some government workplace directive, lest any innocent member of the public should accidentally stumble into the building site and maim themselves horribly. But it does all seem a bit over the top, especially when the opposite platform is just as dangerous but completely under-signed.
Saturday 27th March The grey door on the new blue wall is now blue.
Sunday 28th March The new blue wall is now fully signed. Just two more stickers to be covered on the long blue wall, both for an 'Advert Frame'.
Monday 29th March For the first time at this station there are now signs on each platform directing passengers towards Bow Church DLR station. Very nice signs they are too, all crisp and white. Wonder how long that will last.
Tuesday 30th March The new blue wall has been extended and now stretches along approximately half of the westbound platform. The new section covers the large, deep recess away from the platform edge where nobody ever stands.
Wednesday 31st March There are now 21 stickers awaiting signs stuck to the new blue wall, plus one new sign stickered 'Remove'.
Thursday 1st April Two-storey scaffolding has been erected across the front of the station, surrounded by grey metal barriers. Signs on the scaffolding read 'Scaffolding Incomplete'.
Friday 2nd April At last the station looks like a proper building site. Still no building going on though.
Monday 5th April Only two stickers remain uncovered on the new blue wall, both awaiting 'No Smoking' signs.
Tuesday 6th April A poster in the ticket hall reveals that Bow Road is used by, on average, 5515 passengers daily. And all 5515 of us can expect the renovation work to continue until July 2005.
Wednesday 7th April The horse chestnut outside the station is in full leaf. Wonder if they'll have done any real work on the station by the time I get back from America.
<week-long hiatus while I go to America>
Friday 16th April On my return from America, I spy...
a) the blue wall on the westbound platform has been extended to become as long as the blue wall on the eastbound platform.
b) a new (small) blue wall has been built at the eastern end of the westbound platform.
c) the scaffolding outside the station no longer contains signs saying 'Scaffolding incomplete'.
d) and still no obvious work has been done.
Monday 19th April It's possible to see behind the blue wall as you walk down the steps onto the westbound platform. There is nothing to see.
Tuesday 20th April A sign on the scaffolding outside the station reads "Danger, Men Working Overhead". The sign is wrong.
Wednesday 21st April An old sign still visible under the scaffolding reads "Bicycles may be left here free of charge at owners risk". There'd now be considerable risk getting your bike over the surrounding metal barriers.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
I do hope you've been keeping abreast of my daily reports from Bow Road, London's pioneering tube renovation project. The station upgrade has been going on for over a month now and the place certainly looks very different - four blue walls and a pile of scaffolding now cover the outside of the station and half of both of the platforms. However, there's still no evidence to convince me that a single scrap of renovation has yet occurred. I've not seen one cleaned surface, one lick of paint or even one busy workman since the whole affair began. But, maybe, something, soon.
Thursday 22nd April The poster outside the station giving details of the overnight station closure and alternative travel arrangements has been replaced, by a much simpler poster on the same subject with a reading age of about 6.
Friday 23rd April I actually saw a workman working in the station this morning. Unfortunately he was only fixing the photo booth in the ticket hall.
Saturday 24th April I peeped behind the big blue wall on the westbound platform today.
No work equipment of any kind was visible, just a big empty space (although there were 8 spare blue panels for building blue walls, propped up against the brickwork).
Monday 26th April A new blue wall has been built, just to the east of the steps on the westbound platform. The whole length of the westbound platform is now blue-walled, apart from two gaps for access to the steps and to the station master's office.
Tuesday 27th April Only one section of the two platforms remains unwalled - the short section to the east of the steps on the eastbound platform.
Wednesday 28th April The new section of blue wall is not yet covered by adverts and notices, but then nobody normally stands at that end of the platform anyway.
Thursday 29th April Last night I rode the quarter-to-midnight train through Bow Road station, which is supposedly closed after 10pm so that renovation work can take place. No renovation work of any kind was taking place. Empty platforms.
Friday 30th April Another ride through deserted Bow Road station at 11:30pm tonight, just to see if yesterday was an exception. But no visible work going on tonight either.
Saturday 1st May Immediately above and behind the various blue walls are metal grilles and grey protective sheets. Today the grey sheets along half of the eastbound platform have been raised, completely blocking off the view of what may be happening behind the wall. Or may not.
Sunday 2nd May A sign on the railings outside the station reads 'Approved personal protective clothing must be worn at all times'. I have yet to see one passenger comply.
Monday 3rd May There are three ladders on the scaffolding outside the station.
Tuesday 4th May
"Travel update 16:53: Bow Road Station has been closed due to fire brigade safety checks." Presumably they were checking that all the 'No smoking' and 'Fire alarm' signs had been erected properly. The station re-opened half an hour later, so I guess all was in order.
Wednesday 5th May I spotted the top of a thick metal frame behind the westbound wall.
Thursday 6th May It's not a big frame, you understand, just a horizontal metal bar and one, maybe two, vertical bars. Rather dull metal in fact.
Friday 7th May Evidence of workmen! At 8am this morning a man from the electricity board arrived, parked his van blocking the pavement, then delivered a small canister of calor gas to two workmen waiting at the unlocked fire door to the left of the station entrance. No evidence of work though.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Let me keep you up-to-date with the latest renovation news from my local station. It's been two months since the first blue wall appeared on the platform at Bow Road, followed by another and another and another and another. Until finally, yesterday, the last remaining short section of platform got blue-walled, the bit to the east of the steps on the eastbound platform. The station is fully prepared for work at last. I look forward, some day, to being able to tell you that one of the blue walls has come down and there's a sparkling rejuvenated architectural jewel revealed behind. But I have my doubts.
Saturday 8th May A new blue wall has appeared, covering the short section of platform to the east of the steps on the eastbound platform. That's the last bit of platform blue-walled, finally, after two months.
Sunday 9th May They've removed the photo booth in the ticket hall. They did it about two weeks ago but it's been so busy here I didn't have time to mention it before.
Monday 10th May The three short blue walls have suddenly been covered by an epidemic of small white stickers. Lots more safety signs are on their way.
Tuesday 11th May Blimey that was quick. Almost all of the stickers have now been covered by the usual selection of over-the-top safety signs.
Wednesday 12th May Another new blue wall has appeared, this time at the top of the stairs down to the westbound platform. I think there was a door there before. Now there's a corrugated sheet of ridged metal, just like the very first blue wall round the portakabins on the pavement outside the station.
Thursday 13th May The new blue wall has only two signs on it - 'Surveillance cameras in constant operation and a licence permitting the wall to be there in the first place.
Friday 14th May Another new blue wall has appeared, this time outside the station replacing the previous metal railings around the scaffolding.
Saturday 15th May The new blue wall takes up half the space on the pavement that the old metal railings did.
Sunday 16th May The new blue wall is opaque, whereas you could see through the old metal railings, which means that you can no longer see the only poster that advises travellers the station is closed after 10pm and tells them where to go instead.
Monday 17th May The 'alternative travel arrangements' poster has been relocated in full view on the front of the blue wall, along with space for three more posters.
Tuesday 18th May A 'No smoking' sign has appeared on the side of the new blue wall. Meanwhile two posters have finally been added to the very first blue wall (the one beside the station entrance surrounding the blue portakabins).
Wednesday 19th May The scaffolding across the front of the station has been obscured by grey sheeting.
Thursday 20th May The big blue station sign has been moved from behind the sheeting to in front of the scaffolding. The big blue sign still reads
Bow Road Station : District & Metropolitan lines Bow Road has not been on the Metropolitan line since 1990.
Friday 21st May Yet another new blue wall has been built, this one just inside the ticket hall to the left of the entrance. It's 7 panels long, right where the photo booth used to be.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Over at Bow Road, my local station upgrade continues apace. No less than three new blue walls have been constructed in the last fortnight. There's one at the top of the stairs down to the eastbound platform, another in the corner of the ticket hall and a third around the scaffolding on the pavement in front of the station. Add those to the five existing blue walls along the platforms and one more on the pavement, and some kind of blue wall event horizon seems to have been reached. Perhaps some renovation work is going on behind those blue walls, it's still impossible to tell. Or maybe we've just become some new art installation, displaying an array of modern safety signage on clean blue surfaces, juxtaposed against late Victorian brickwork.
Saturday 22nd May The grey protective sheeting behind the blue walls on the westbound platform has been raised to ceiling level, obscuring whatever may be going on behind.
Sunday 23rd May Peeking through the tiny gaps in the blue wall on the westbound platform reveals that still absolutely nothing is going on behind.
Monday 24th May Two long yellow light fittings have been installed beneath the scaffolding over the entrance to the station.
Tuesday 25th May A hole the size of two half bricks has been cut in the wall at the top of the stairs down to the westbound platform. The hole partly obscures the top left hand corner of a new 'No Smoking' sign, so workmen have helpfully posted another 'No Smoking' sign next to it, ten times the area of the original.
Wednesday 26th May Six white stickers have appeared on the blue wall in the ticket hall - which means even more essential safety signs are on their way.
Thursday 27th May One white sticker has appeared on the blue wall at the top of the westbound stairs.
Friday 28th May Six white stickers have appeared on the longest blue wall on the westbound platform.
Tuesday 1st June There are still two stickers on the second longest westbound wall...
Wednesday 2nd June ... one sticker on the shortest westbound wall...
Thursday 3rd June ... two stickers on the shorter eastbound wall...
Friday 4th June ... and one sticker on the longer eastbound wall.
Saturday 5th June I took the last train out of Bow Road at 9:57pm. As we pulled out, the station attendant opened up a tube map on the wall to reveal a big sign saying 'station closed'. No workmen rushed onto the platform.
Sunday 6th June I rode a nightbus past the station at 1:30am. The lights were on in the station, in the portakabin and across the scaffolding on the front of the building. Two vans were parked on the forecourt and workmen were standing around working. No really. They appeared to be affixing a new poster to the blue wall on the front of the station.
Monday 7th June No, they were actually installing six light fittings on the blue wall.
Tuesday 8th June There are now orange bulbs inside the light fittings.
Wednesday 9th June The lights are not yet lit.
Thursday 10th June The lights are now lit. They're very orange.
Friday 11th June The giant 'No Smoking' sign at the top of the westbound stairs has been moved to cover over the small hole behind.
NDBow Road station, London E3
I wonder if workmen will finally get round to updating the sign outside the station, the one that says Bow Road is on the "District and Metropolitan lines". Bow Road's not been on the Metropolitan line since 1990 when the Hammersmith & City line took over the section east of Liverpool Street. But, I read, there are plans to change that back again. Tube bosses want Metropolitan line trains to run from northwest London right through to Barking again, hopefully by 2011. Meanwhile the Hammersmith & City and Circle lines will be sort-of-merged to provide what's being called a 'T-Cup' service. Trains will run from Hammersmith to Edgware Road, then continue all the way round what's now the Circle line before terminating at Edgware Road second time around. You heard it here first. I heard it here first. And no, I don't believe it'll happen either.
